goose
    n 1: web-footed long-necked typically gregarious migratory
         aquatic birds usually larger and less aquatic than ducks
    2: a man who is a stupid incompetent fool [syn: fathead,
       goof, goofball, bozo, jackass, goose, cuckoo,
       twat, zany]
    3: flesh of a goose (domestic or wild)
    v 1: pinch in the buttocks; "he goosed the unsuspecting girl"
    2: prod into action
    3: give a spurt of fuel to; "goose the car"

Goose \Goose\ (g[=oo]s), n.; pl. Geese (g[=e]s). [OE. gos, AS.
   g[=o]s, pl. g[=e]s; akin to D. & G. gans, Icel. g[=a]s, Dan.
   gaas, Sw. g[*a]s, Russ. guse. OIr. geiss, L. anser, for
   hanser, Gr. chh`n, Skr. ha[.m]sa. [root]233. Cf. Gander,
   Gannet, Ganza, Gosling.] (Zool.)
   [1913 Webster]
   1. Any large web-footen bird of the subfamily Anserin[ae],
      and belonging to Anser, Branta, Chen, and several
      allied genera. See Anseres.
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   Note: The common domestic goose is believed to have been
         derived from the European graylag goose (Anser
         anser). The bean goose (A. segetum), the American
         wild or Canada goose (Branta Canadensis), and the
         bernicle goose (Branta leucopsis) are well known
         species. The American white or snow geese and the blue
         goose belong to the genus Chen. See Bernicle,
         Emperor goose, under Emperor, Snow goose, Wild
         goose, Brant.
         [1913 Webster]

   2. Any large bird of other related families, resembling the
      common goose.
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   Note: The Egyptian or fox goose (Alopochen Aegyptiaca) and
         the African spur-winged geese (Plectropterus) belong
         to the family Plectropterid[ae]. The Australian
         semipalmated goose (Anseranas semipalmata) and Cape
         Barren goose (Cereopsis Nov[ae]-Hollandi[ae]) are
         very different from northern geese, and each is made
         the type of a distinct family. Both are domesticated in
         Australia.
         [1913 Webster]

   3. A tailor's smoothing iron, so called from its handle,
      which resembles the neck of a goose.
      [1913 Webster]

   4. A silly creature; a simpleton.
      [1913 Webster]

   5. A game played with counters on a board divided into
      compartments, in some of which a goose was depicted.
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            The pictures placed for ornament and use,
            The twelve good rules, the royal game of goose.
                                                  --Goldsmith.
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   A wild goose chase, an attempt to accomplish something
      impossible or unlikely of attainment.

   Fen goose. See under Fen.

   Goose barnacle (Zool.), any pedunculated barnacle of the
      genus Anatifa or Lepas; -- called also duck
      barnacle. See Barnacle, and Cirripedia.

   Goose cap, a silly person. [Obs.] --Beau. & .

   Goose corn (Bot.), a coarse kind of rush (Juncus
      squarrosus).

   Goose feast, Michaelmas. [Colloq. Eng.]

   Goose grass. (Bot.)
      (a) A plant of the genus Galium (G. Aparine), a
          favorite food of geese; -- called also catchweed and
          cleavers.
      (b) A species of knotgrass (Polygonum aviculare).
      (c) The annual spear grass (Poa annua).

   Goose neck, anything, as a rod of iron or a pipe, curved
      like the neck of a goose; specially (Naut.), an iron hook
      connecting a spar with a mast.

   Goose quill, a large feather or quill of a goose; also, a
      pen made from it.

   Goose skin. See Goose flesh, above.

   Goose tongue (Bot.), a composite plant (Achillea
      ptarmica), growing wild in the British islands.

   Sea goose. (Zool.) See Phalarope.

   Solan goose. (Zool.) See Gannet.
      [1913 Webster]

GOOSE, n.  A bird that supplies quills for writing.  These, by some
occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various
degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character,
so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person
called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript
of the fowl's thought and feeling.  The difference in geese, as
discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable:  many are found
to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be
very great geese indeed.